


Much Ado About Kenobi

by Sulis57



Series: Tumblr Prompts [9]
Category: Much Ado About Nothing (1993), Much Ado About Nothing (2011), Much Ado About Nothing - Shakespeare, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Bastardizing Shakespeare, Eavesdropping, F/M, Family Shenanigans, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, Much Ado About Nothing, Obi-Wan Needs a Hug, Poor Obi-Wan, References to Shakespeare, Silly, just for fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2018-11-08
Packaged: 2019-08-20 13:25:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16556600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sulis57/pseuds/Sulis57
Summary: Padmé Amidala is hosting a large party. The Duchess of Mandalore attends, as do many of our favorite Jedi and clones. Unfortunately, tensions are running high between Satine and Obi-Wan; she has not yet forgiven him for faking his death. Anakin, Ahsoka, and Rex will try to mend fences between the Jedi Master and the Duchess by using well intended trickery.Out of the corner of his eye Anakin saw Kenobi’s head pop up from behind the hedge where he was supposed to be meditating. Skywalker winked at Ahsoka and Rex, giving the signal to keep going. “You heard right, Snips. I have to admit I’m surprised. It’s hard to image the Duchess falling in love with any man much less Obi-Wan.”





	Much Ado About Kenobi

**Author's Note:**

> I know some people have compared Obi-Wan and Satine to Romeo and Juliet. I suppose that is a fair comparison, especially if you look at their tragically doomed forbidden love. However, personality-wise, I will argue to the death that they are 1000000% Beatrice and Benedick from _Much Ado About Nothing_.
> 
> I absolutely adore Shakespeare and _Much Ado_ is one of my favorites. I recently rewatched [David Tennant’s version](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OS1wo_8L3Yc&feature=youtu.be&t=2725) and enjoyed it so much I felt inspired to rewrite part of act ii, scene iii as a Star Wars thing. In this fic just pretend it's not quite so taboo for Jedi to marry. Anakin and Padme are openly married even though the Jedi Council probably didn't approve.
> 
> If you need a refresher, or have never seen/read _Much Ado About Nothing_ , please treat yourself to its delightful humor :) Here are some links you might find useful:
> 
> [CLICK HERE TO READ THE FULL PLAY](http://shakespeare.mit.edu/much_ado/full.html)
> 
> [WATCH SCENES FROM THE 1993 VERSION WITH EMMA THOMPSON & KENNETH BRANAGH](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZbXA4lyCtqrRN1dIROvEHiCyOYj2zHm3)
> 
> [WATCH THE 2005 VERSION WITH DAMIAN LEWIS AND SARAH PARISH](https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLB3745E98986D3BD3)
> 
> [WATCH THE 2011 VERSION WITH DAVID TENNANT AND CATHERINE TATE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OS1wo_8L3Yc)

Padme Amidala was hosting one of the most luxuriously elaborate parties in Naboo’s history, an event that was to last well over a week and would commemorate her planet’s founding. Prominent figures from all over the galaxy were invited, including senators, regents, and Jedi. The celebration was her primary focus, but secondarily she and her husband, Anakin Skywalker, had devised a plan to finally unite Obi-Wan Kenobi and Satine Kryze. The Jedi and the Duchess had been at odds recently, causing considerable tension between their friends and family, and Padme hoped that forcing the two to spend a week together would result in a peacemaking.

The plan had quickly gone awry.

From the very first moment, Kenobi and Kryze bickered openly, harassing each other with ruthless jibes.

_Are you still talking, Obi-Wan? No one is listening to you._

_I see you’ve brought your contemptuousness with you, Duchess, in addition to your usual baggage. How have you kept this boring scornfulness alive for so long?_

_How can scorn die when it has food such as you to sustain it?_

_Thank the Force I never loved any woman. I have met many throughout my adventures, but never a lady for whom it was worth leaving the Jedi Order._

_A dear happiness for women, to be sure. I would rather hear my dog bark at a crow than hear a man swear he loves me._

The longer they spent together, the worse the arguing got. According to Anakin’s wife, the Duchess was madly in love with Kenobi but when the Jedi Master faked his death several months prior, the deception had devastated the Mandalorian regent. She hadn’t yet forgiven him, and, in Satine’s opinion, Kenobi had not shown proper remorse. Instead he combatively defended his duty rather than admit faking his death had been cruel and painful for his friends.

Kenobi’s single-mindedness and Kryze’s stubbornness drove the two further and further apart.

Finally, Anakin could stand it no longer. He took Ahsoka and Rex aside and devised a more proactive strategy for uniting the bickering couple. If Satine and Obi-Wan were too proud to move beyond their conflict and admit their true feelings for each other, then it would take external forces to intervene on their behalf. Skywalker, his Padawan, and his clone captain laid a friendly trap and walked Kenobi right into it.

Each morning the Jedi Master meditated in the manicured Naboo gardens, so Anakin, Ahsoka, and Rex positioned themselves on a nearby terrace and carried out a loud conversation, knowing that Kenobi would overhear every word.

“Master,” Ahsoka said, slightly over-projecting, “did I hear you correctly? Did you say that Satine was in love with Obi-Wan?”

Out of the corner of his eye Anakin saw Kenobi’s head pop up from behind the hedge where he was supposed to be meditating. Skywalker winked at Ahsoka and Rex, giving the signal to keep going. “You heard right, Snips. I have to admit I’m surprised. It’s hard to image the Duchess falling in love with _any_ man much less _Obi-Wan_.”

“I’d never believe it, Sir,” Rex said woodenly, not yet comfortable with his acting skills. “But the intel is reliable – though she appears to despise him, the Duchess is passionately in love with General Kenobi, despite his obvious disinterest.”

“This is heartbreaking,” Ahsoka gasped. “Poor Satine. How can she bear it?”

Anakin watched as Obi-Wan moved closer to them, trying to conceal himself behind a narrow fruit tree. Skywalker leaned toward the clone and whispered, “We’ve got his attention now! This is it, Rex. Make it good.”

Rex cleared his throat and continued as loudly as he could. “My sources say that in company the Duchess tries to appear jovial, but in private she is emotionally distraught and is beside herself with sadness.”

Ahsoka sighed. “How awful.”

Anakin saw Kenobi snap a few long branches off the tree where he was hiding, and stuffing the foliage in his belt and tunic as camouflage, he moved closer to the trio, pressing himself against a trimmed hedge. He was only a few feet away. Skywalker snorted loudly and tried to cover it up with a cough. “Don’t stop now,” he whispered to the others.

Ahsoka carried on the ruse. “I’m really struggling to believe the Duchess is smitten with Obi-Wan. She seems impermeable when it comes to matters of the heart.”

“I agree, especially considering the way they fight with each other,” Rex added. “They’re often so rude it’s hard to believe either of them would care what the other thinks.”

Skywalker saw Kenobi suddenly freeze, his face visibly pained by the captain’s criticism. Anakin gestured to Rex and whispered, “We’ve got him. Time for the final blow.”

Rex nodded slightly and then asked loudly, “Didn’t Senator Amidala give you more details, Sir?”

Anakin had to bite his lip to keep from laughing as he heard Obi-Wan accidently knock over the potted plant he was currently hiding behind. “Oh yes!” he nearly shouted. “She did.”

Ahsoka also fought back laughter as she carried on. “Does Padme know if Satine has confessed her feelings to Obi-Wan?”

“Satine will never confess anything,” Skywalker responded, doing a fairly good job pretending to sound disappointed. “Padme said the Duchess has sworn to never tell him how she feels. That’s why Satine is so tormented; she can’t bear to live without him but she refuses to tell him the truth because she knows Obi-Wan will only tease her. Apparently, the Duchess was trying to write him a letter the other day, but she became so overwhelmed with sadness that she ripped the letter into a thousand pieces, crying that she was a fool to love a man who would only mock her.”

“Yesterday I overheard someone sobbing in the garden,” Ahsoka said. “Through the hedges I heard a woman whisper to herself, ‘Oh, Force, give me patience and forgive my foolish heart.’ It must have been Satine! I’ve never heard her cry like that.”

“Padme is worried about the Duchess’s health. She’s looking pale and weak. She’s even refusing to eat.”

Ahsoka peeked around her master to see if Kenobi was still listening. She saw him standing amongst several potted trees, leaves in his hair, branches in his clothes, holding perfectly still while his eyes and mouth hung open with shock. She nearly imperceptibly nodded to the others before proceeding. “Don’t you think Obi-Wan deserves to know the truth about how Satine feels?”

“What good would that do?” Anakin asked with a shrug. “He would just tease her and torment the poor lady worse.”

“She deserves to be treated better,” Rex declared. “She’s a noble, strong woman.”

“And extremely wise,” added Ahsoka.

“In everything but in loving Obi-Wan,” Anakin snorted.

“I wish she had chosen to love someone who would love her back,” the Jedi Padawan said with a sigh. “Master, are you sure we shouldn’t tell Obi-Wan? Maybe it would change the way he feels.”

“It might be worth the risk, General,” Rex urged. “How is the Duchess holding up?”

Anakin shook his head. “Padme thinks Satine will probably die of a broken heart.”

“How terrible!” Ahsoka shouted. “If only Master Kenobi wouldn’t stick to the Code so severely. He could put aside his pride and acknowledge the woman who loves him.”

“He _is_ very strict,” Skywalker agreed.

“But he’s also kind,” Ahsoka countered.

“And strong in the Force.”

“And witty…”

“Snarky,” Rex corrected.

“And brave and valiant,” Anakin added.

Ahsoka threw up her hands. “This is so frustrating. He’s a good man. He wouldn’t want to hurt Satine. We’ve seen him manage conflict wisely in the past; he’s able to avoid it with great discretion, or undertake it with compassion. His nickname is _The Negotiator_ for Force sake! Why can’t he be diplomatic now with the Duchess? Why can’t they stop fighting?”

“It seems like there’s no solution to this problem,” Rex said.

“I still say we should tell Obi-Wan of Satine’s love.”

“No,” Anakin insisted. “Never tell him. Satine will eventually get over it and move on.”

“I’m not sure I agree, Sir. From what I’ve heard, the Duchess has always been in love with the general, even when they were just kids.”

“Plus, a few minutes ago you said she was going to die from a broken heart,” Ahsoka glared at her master, afraid he'd blown their cover by contradicting himself.

“Let’s talk to Padme,” Anakin quickly backpedaled. “Maybe she can find a way to help.” He wrapped his arms around his Padawan and Rex’s shoulders. “Let’s grab some grub. Breakfast is ready, and I don’t know about you but I’m starving.” He steered them all toward the palace door, barely controlling his laughter. “Did you see how he tried to blend in with the hedges?” he whispered. “If this plan doesn’t work, nothing will!!”

“Let’s send Satine out to call Obi-Wan in for breakfast!” Ahsoka laughed.

“Great idea!”

  


* * *

  


After watching Anakin, Ahsoka, and Rex disappear into the Naboo palace Obi-Wan slowly emerged from the trees where he’d been hiding.

“This can be no trick,” he said, his eyes growing wide with shock and understanding. “They have the truth of this from Padme.” He placed his hands on his hips and stared around in wonder.

“They seem to pity the lady.” He suddenly paused, feeling slightly offended by the implied insult before conceding that he too pitied Satine for loving him. “Oh dear,” he frowned. “The poor lady.”

Obi-Wan stood silently for a moment, thinking of the beautiful Duchess whom he had bickered with all his life. A huge smile broke across his face as he played with the idea that she might actually adore rather than despise him. “Love me?” he wondered. “Why?”

He glanced down at his clothes and was shocked to find he was still wearing his tree branch camouflage. He looked around quickly to see if anyone was watching as he began to remove his embarrassingly ill-conceived disguise. “Her feelings _must be requited_!” he declared loudly as he pulled the last twig out of his belt. Rather than tossing it aside he used it to scratch his head, deep in thought. “I hear how I am censured. Anakin thinks I am too proud to notice how Satine feels about me. And he says she would rather die than give any sign of affection.”

Obi-Wan’s eyes grew wide with excitement. “I never thought I would marry.”

“I must not seem proud,” he said poking himself in the chest with the leafy twig. “A good Jedi can receive criticism and change his ways.”

He sat down in the grass and sighed, tucking the branch behind his ear. “They say Satine is worthy. I can attest that is the truth!” he beamed. The more he thought about the Duchess the happier he became. “Fair and virtuous and wise… well, wise except for loving me, since she knows a Jedi is never supposed to marry or fall in love.” He fell back, sprawling across the manicured lawn with his arms and legs out, as though embracing the world. “I will be horribly in love with her!” he shouted.

Obi-Wan crossed his hands behind his head, enjoying the beautiful blue sky. “I’m sure Anakin will mock me mercilessly for altering my view on love, especially since I lectured him often about his relationship with Senator Amidala. But can’t I change my mind? Love is a thing a man grows into like jazz and olives. No, the galaxy must be peopled.” Obi-Wan sat up and ran a hand over his beard. “When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married.”

The palace door suddenly flew open and Satine came stomping across the terrace toward Kenobi.

“Here comes the Duchess!” The Jedi cried, scrambling to his feet. “Force, she is lovely,” he gushed, unable to keep himself from grinning like a fool. “I must admit she does look like a woman in love.”

Satine halted at the top of the terrace steps and glowered down at him. “Against my will I am sent to bid you come in to breakfast,” she shouted.

Obi-Wan hurried forward and stood at the bottom of the stairs. “Wonderful Satine, I thank you for your pains.”

The Duchess crossed her arms and scoffed. “I took no more pains for those thanks than you take pains to thank me.” She moved to leave but stopped and turned back to him. “If it had been painful, I would not have come.”

“You take pleasure then in the message?” he asked, smiling at her and climbing several steps.

She looked him up and down suspiciously before replying. “As much pleasure as you may take upon a lightsaber’s blade. If you have no appetite for your breakfast then I bid you farewell.” She stomped away.

Obi-Wan Kenobi turned and stared at the lovely gardens, his heart overwhelmed with joy. “If I do not take pity on her then I am a villain. If I do not love her then I am a fool!” He stretched out his arms, barely able to contain his excitement. “I’m in love!”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.
> 
> Kudos and comments are very welcome.
> 
> Much love!


End file.
